Bipolar Episodes?
Ok, I'll admit I've been in a bit of a pissy mood lately. Little things set me off, and I've just been easily irritable. That's life. There's more to it but I choose not to go into detail at this time.
Well, today started out as another day of great irritation for me when something strange happened.
I acquired some bolts. A lot of them. These are the little bolts that go on the end of screws, but they are a special kind of bolt. - Doh, you got me. Nuts go on the end of bolts. Screws don't need nuts, or bolts. Chalk another one up to those double X chromosomes.
Suddenly, I became happy.
I don't know how to explain it, but a bunch of stupid bolts put me in a good mood. This is actually quite odd come to think about it. I got to thinking as my thinking became a little more rational, why am I having these bipolar episodes right now? I mean to put it in an understatement, the last few days I've been downright moody and apathetic. I just did not care. Suddenly, I acquire a bunch of bolts, it sets off a good mood, and I become eager and willing to please again.
Bolts? Why Bolts? What is going on in my head? I'm not exactly sure but I should probably look into it.
Because describing my mood swings as Bipolar is quite appropriate. I have also discovered, as time goes on for me, that I am a forgiving person (though I get mad as hell at people and can hold a vendetta out for a short time) and will generally look past people's faults. There is only one person in my life that I have really held a grudge against for a long period of time and I've pretty much let that go as well. I mean there are a few people that have irked the living crap out of me, but right now I feel like everything is alright in the world, when not more then four hours ago I was thinking how much certain people irk the crap out of me and also feeling extremely paranoid, like people are out to get me. I don't feel paranoid right now. I just feel calm. And strangely relaxed.
Work continues, it can be related to a bunch of my stress and frustration, and probably a good deal of my mood swings, though I will state that right now I'm not exactly working in the job field I came here to do (though that should hopefully change here in the next couple weeks, give or take a few days). I've been learning a lot, and at the same time discovering what it feels like to want to maim people. At least I'm getting off work at a reasonable time lately. That helps me unwind. But there is never a problem with staying busy. I've always got something to do.
Still, I think I need to talk to somebody about my intense mood swings. They can't be normal. And this is beyond the usual crabbiness that females get during that certain time of month, this is outright insanity.
Oh well, I never was one for claiming to be sane.
-Risawn:
# 4:09 PM -
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