1.10.2008

School's Back in Session So, its been kind of busy what with school starting back up and all. I'm in Management Functions (this class is going to suck), Survey of Research Methodologies (this class is really going to suck) and Digital Layout (I might survive this one). So all in all, this term is not one I look forward too. Bleh. For Research Methodologies, I have to figure out a topic I want to write about for a Research Paper. I bet I could do one on blogging, lot's of good info there, but I'm not sure exactly. It has to be a topic I can take a stance on. I was thinking out of the general topics to do one on are: Women in the Military Gun Control Addiction to: (a list of items that people gain addictions to like Pornography, Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling, etc, but I need to focus on one) Teen Pregnancy and Sex Education Old and New Issues on the Internet (blogging comes in here) Influence of Mass Media on Our Lives We have a select amount of topics that we have to research, and these are the ones that gained my attention. I have to be able to find ten sources to cite for a 12 - 15 page paper. Research papers don't really bother me, its just that this is coming at the beginning of a mobilization, so if I can stay on top of things in school, I should be fine but no guarantees, especially considering this specific class doesn't allow me to work ahead. Bleh. Again. So, I'm focusing on what I want to do for this class, waiting for my books to come in for my other classes, and I just caught the crud that's been going around. Fortunately I only work a short four hour magazine shift tomorrow and I got the weekend off to recuperate. Unfortunately, well, it's dumped about a foot and a half of snow in town and I'm sure the mountains are going to be fan-freakin'-tastic and I'm caught up indoors with a flippin' cold. I think I need to just try to find some time to relax and chill, drink lot's of Emergen-C and work on homework. And my comic as well. Yeah, I'm updating it again. Unfortunately I can't remember my password so I have to FTP the files in. Triple Bleh. Labels: Comic, health, School -Risawn: # 8:58 PM - |

9.29.2007

A Minor Rant About a Minor Injury So, I've discovered I really like to rant. That was one of the reasons why I started a blog in the first place, it was a public area where I could just say what I wanted to and anybody who wished to read it could read it, and if they didn't want to read it, so what? I just got off of a profile, and in my military career I've only been on a profile a handful of times, once I was ordered to go to sick call by my drill sergeants after smashing my face against the carrying handle of my M16 and started bleeding everywhere. Thus was my no Camouflage profile which was the only profile I held during Basic. I didn't really want to go on profile this time, but I was having a strange pain in my back that really only bothered me when I tried to march or run. I wanted to suck it up and drive on as I thought it would go away but after a day and a half I decided I needed to get it looked at to make sure it wasn't anything to serious. Or if it wasn't, that it wouldn't develop into something more serious. Turns out its a pinched nerve, the sciatic nerve going into my right hip. Its actually something I can handle, but they put me on a run/march/jump at your own pace profile just so I can rest it and get it back up. So I've been taking advantage of this and walking when I can and avoiding running when I can. The problem is, my profile says seven days, and technically I'm not supposed to be on profile for longer then 72 hours or I risk being kicked out of the school, even though this does not hinder my ability to do the training, I just avoid running for a couple of days, thats all. But because it says 7 days, I have to tear up the profile and pretend it doesn't exist. So I guess that's what I'm going to do. I think the army has this mentality of toughness to suck it up if you are hurt and just keep driving on. While that's ok for the most part, especially if you know its just a bruise or a minor injury, it's also ok to check something out if you need to, your body uses pain as a way of telling you that something is wrong. So I went to sick call and checked out my back to make sure it was nothing serious, and to get it documented just in case it was and it turns out it isn't a big deal. But now I feel like I'm being told that I'm dogshit by my Senior Drill Sergeant because I didn't just suck it up and take it, instead getting a profile. I don't know much about the sciatic nerve or the injury I got, but I was told that if I didn't rest it that it could get worse so I took advantage of the last couple of days and rested myself as much as I could. So sue me, if I don't feel better by Monday, then I'll suck it up then. I didn't miss any training to utilize sick call, I made sure training was done for the day before I asked to go. More went into this issue with this little chat I had with the Senior, with which I won't discuss here, but we'll say I didn't gain any more respect for the person because of it. Labels: health, Rant -Risawn: # 3:34 PM - |

3.23.2007

Jobs, Broken Feet, and Army Matters I went to the doctor's office yesterday and they told me that there was no real change in my healing so I was sent to an orthopedic specialist today. Great news! I AM healing! I was taken off the crutches and told to go ahead and support as much weight as I felt comfortable on my foot. I'll be in the walking boot another two weeks and then I can put on a comfortable sneaker *squee!* I was told by my possible perspective boss that as far as they were concerned, they REALLY liked me and felt I would be a strong addition to their team, but I won't know for sure until I talk to the president, who has been very busy. I'll be interviewing with him on Monday if all goes well and so I'm hoping I will know the outcome of the job by the end of the week. Sweet! Once I do know that, I can get in touch with my unit and see what sister units are down in that area, because I won't be drilling with my current unit once I move. I'm still going to be going to school the same time, and the job I'm looking at is aware of this and totally willing to work with me. One of the questions they asked me was in regards to what I would do if I gave an assignment to a fellow employee and found them not working on it, how I would react. I tried to be honest with them, saying I wouldn't want to be abraisive or anything but if they really get on my nerves, being a drill sergeant candidate I might snap into that mentality and chew them out. They laughed and said they would love to see me make somebody do pushups *laughs* I don't think I'll be doing that a lot though. WHatever the case, I'm feeling really good about the job right now and am just hoping that it works out. I think I'll have to be giving up my little furballs however :( I will miss them if I do. New Animated Ninja Turtles comes out today! Must endulge my inner childhood fandoms and go see it this weekend. Labels: health -Risawn: # 3:52 PM - |

3.01.2007

Foot not Healing Nothing really new going on. My foot is still broken and I haven't been doing it any favors by trying to live my life and walking on it. So I have been rendered to Crutches, absolutely NO weight on my foot for three weeks. Which is hard because I can put weight on it with no pain, but its not mending so. . . So the verdict is in, the season of snowboarding is over for me. *sighs* I will likely get a midweek pass and leave it at that for next year, I didn't use the season pass enough to make it worth my while. I was supposed to leave for Benning in a little over a week *grumbles* but now its been delayed til end of July, as mentioned previously. And thank you all for your concern about me being in Georgia in August. I have been to Benning in August before. No it is not fun, but I'll manage to somehow survive. Hey, I'm Preventive Medicine, despite how much I loathe my job I do know how to do it. So I'm sure I can keep an eye on the heat cat and hopefully I won't miss out on to much training because of it. Lately I've been watching a lot of movies. Labels: health -Risawn: # 9:03 PM - |

2.15.2007

Brief Delay in Plans I got the results of my foot back yesterday. We went in for an X-Ray and it came back broken. Fourth Metatarsel on the right foot. I'm going in today again to see my doctor and have him give me a recommendation on what to do to get it taken care of. One thing for sure, Drill Sergeant School is out for March. But not all is lost. I just have to flip my schedule around for a bit. I was originally supposed to go to DSS in March and come back in May, where I was going to have to finaggle getting back into school and all that jazz. Actually, this works better. For one, I won't be missing Helena Handbasket and I might be able to finaggle Bloomsday in. And I won't get thrown off of my schooling for my degree. I just have to keep myself from getting hurt again. But they say I might be able to be back on it in a couple of weeks, so I'll probably still be able to negotiate the March Snowboarding Season. Labels: Drill Sergeant, health, School -Risawn: # 11:24 AM - |

2.13.2007

Depart Already!!! So I've got an appointment to see the Doctor at 8 this evening, because apparently they're booked up with the flu. Since I have to keep my foot on ice and elevated, and overall off of it (which leads to me relaxing on the couch with minimum activity *grumbles*) I decided since its new movie day, that I wanted to go rent a couple of movies to keep me occupied. So I sent my brother after the movies, one of them being The Departed, which I've been wanting to see for quite some time. Despite the horrible movie review done of it in one of my classes earlier. So I send him after the movie and while he's getting ready, he keeps trying to confirm the movie with me. "The Guardian, right?" "No, the Departed." Shortly thereafter, as he's getting his shoes on. "The Forgotten?" "No, that was an awful movie! The Departed!" A minute later, "Unforgiven?" "Departed!!!" So he finally leaves, I'm like trying to give him mnemonic clues just so he would get the hint, like how he needs to depart the house to get the movies. A few minutes later, he comes back, with The Unknown. Which I've seen. . . Maybe he'll get it this time. Labels: health, Movies, Random -Risawn: # 11:00 AM - |

2.12.2007

Well, That Nixes That I went to a church activity tonight where we went and played Balloon games, this is basically a singles thing where a bunch of single adults get together and have fun and socialize and hopefully pair off so that they get married and one day have kids. The Balloon games were fun and all, and afterwards we set up a volleyball net and started playing volleyball. I used to play in High school but haven't played in probably two years or so (actually, in Kosovo I think was the last time I played). Anyway, we were playing and I was in the front center kind of setting the ball for people when the ball came over and I tried to block while the guy on the other side tried to spike it, or something. Well, I hit the floor and he landed on my right foot. I went down almost immediately from the sharp pain that followed. Ouch. Well, game over, I told them I was done for the count and had to take care of my foot. Driving proved to be doable, as long as I don't have to make a hard break, and when I got home, I looked for an Ice pack and maybe a wrap to wrap it in. Nothing. Which left me a trip to the nearest place that would have this kind of stuff for sheer conveniance, which is Walmart, the devil's store. Walking was difficult so I found myself on a cart skating my way around, trying to keep off my hurt foot until I got to the ace bandages and ice packs and all that good stuff. Coming home, I got the icepack ready and finally took off my shoe and assessed the damage. I can touch it fine, no real sharp pain. This is going to hurt like crazy tomorrow. Its really starting to plague me now. I'm hoping its a bad bruise, but now that my shoe is off, I'm having trouble putting any weight on it whatsoever. Called in to work to let them know I can't come in so I can at least take the day and keep it elevated (and hope it gets better). If it doesn't, I'm going to have to make an appointment with the doctor and see if I've got a hairline fracture or something. Either way, well, gees, I had this sneaky suspcion that something was going to happen to me before I had to go to Drill Sergeant School. I just thought it was going to happen on account of snowboarding. Well, no more running or snowboarding for me until I'm sure that this thing isn't going to debilitate me. And if it is bad, this might mean I have to postpone school until Summer. Damn. Labels: health, Running -Risawn: # 10:35 PM - |

9.29.2006

Can't Sleep I've been having trouble sleeping lately, at least trouble sleeping regularly. My sleep schedule has gotten quite irregular, with me getting to sleep later and later and getting up later and later. You know when you're trying to go to sleep and its dead silent except for that one quiet ticking noise that sounds like it might as well be somebody banging on a drum right above your head? I don't know what this sound is, but every night I hear it right by my head and I can't figure out what it is. I went to bed, got all snuggly under my covers and just. . . lay there. Wide awake. Listening to the eerie quiet except for that one little discreet ticking noise. Tonight I also got the Coocoo clock keeping me company. Fortunately, that's an easy fix. Unfortunately, I've got this stupid ticking noise that appears to be related to my bedroom. I wonder if its an electronic device? My bed is directly above my desk. Hmm, could be? I'll have to see if I can remedy this lack of sleep. I think I'm going to learn more about web designing. Labels: health, Rambling, Random -Risawn: # 4:51 AM - |

9.21.2006

Dentist Appointment Without going into personal hygiene habits, I've discovered I'm very blessed in one health issue. I've got good teeth. Not the greatest teeth in the world, mind you. They are a little crooked and I've got a slight overbite, but my sisters, who have perfectly straight teeth, usually have problems when they go to the dentist. My somewhat crooked teeth never fail me when it comes to cavities however. I don't know when the last time I had a cavity was, but I think it ws back when I still had baby teeth. I went to the dentist today and they saw no issues, just telling me that I could probably floss more (like pretty much every one else on earth) and sent me back to my unit with my dental records. Not bad considering I haven't been to a hygienist in well over six years. You know, I've never feared going to the dentist? Seriously, never bothered me. Labels: health -Risawn: # 10:48 PM - |

5.08.2006

Bloomsday Aftermath Oh, The Pain!!! I know better then to run a 12K roadrace cold turkey, but due to total lack of motivation lately, I haven't been working up to running Bloomsday like I probably should have. Which has caused me to be in a wee bit of pain the next day, which makes walking down stair cases torture. But still, I found this running of Bloomsday (Spokane's own personal holiday) to be a kick in the pants. For lack of a better word. I ran it with my brother, sister and their spouses (who are incidentally also related to each other, but I promise its legal). Bloomsday has a new way of doing things, everyone starts at the same start point and each individual has their own computerized chip chaffing their ankle to time when we go across the start line all the way to the finish. I thought i did fairly well, considering I had ran this thing cold turkey. Its a 12K road race, and I did it in roughly 1 hour and 35 minutes. I could stand to get out and run a bit more, and I likely would have gotten a better time if I didn't take my iPod with me. I had to stop to adjust it every time it fell out of my ear or just to set it up. Meanwhile, I ended up running most of it to Linkin Park, I needed something pretty high energy to keep me going and get my mind off of the fact that my body didn't like running that much, uphill and what not. All in all, I think I ran about 95% of it. Not bad in my opinion. Not bad at all. The t-Shirts are this orange color, normally something I likely wouldn't wear, but I thought they were cool. Now however, I'm suffering from the aftermath of running that much cold turkey. Stairs are torture to walk down and my thighs scream at me every time I want to do something simple, like get out of bed. Still, all in all, I have made this a good motivation to take this opportunity to get my soar muscles into action and run regularly. . . starting tomorrow. Labels: Bloomsday, health, holidays, Running -Risawn: # 3:52 PM - |

3.28.2006

Job Hazards Got a call this morning around 4 am. One of those weird calls where you know there is something that isn't right. I kind of slept through it at first, but was woken by my parents who asked me if I wanted to drive down to Pasco with them. My brother, who's a trucker, got into an accident and was admitted into the emergency room. News like that wakes you up pretty fast. So we got our stuff together, called some of the family to alert them on what happened, and headed down to the tricities to check up on my brother and give him morale support. On the way down, we got to see the accident first hand. We are very fortunate that the bodily damage wasn't worse. To my brother that is. The truck was totaled. He had suffered a concussion and had difficulty remembering exactly what had happened. That was kind of surreal talking to him, as I had a similar situation happen to me where my short term memory was gone. Seeing it from this point of view was actually rather interesting, and brought back a few memories of the time when I had no memory, if that makes any sense at all. He would repeat questions, couldn't remember where he was or how he got there, and fortunately he didn't remember the accident at all. Fortunately, his boss was very understanding. He gave me permission to post the picture of the accident on my blog. Fortunately, the wood chips won't be an entire waste. The tow company said they had a use for them, since they can't be considered for their intended purpose. Spending the morning in Pasco brought on some other interesting situations, that brings up current events going on now. But that likely deserves its own post. Labels: family, health, Yikes -Risawn: # 8:42 PM - |

7.31.2005

Big Duke Aftermath Man, last night I slept like a baby. . . . . . Today I can barely move. . . just a grumble in agony as I tried to move from my bed to my chair so I could surf the internet. Yeah, because I wasn't going to Bulgaria, I got my internet refreshed. But now I have to console aching muscles and blisters. Good thing I did the mountain climb on a Saturday so I could use Sunday as a day of rest and recouperation. As that is what Sunday is supposed to be about. Now I have to go shopping for a Guitar. I think I'll put up a poll seeing which one I should get. No more mountains for me while I'm here. But I'm still glad I did it, even if I hurt and at times while I was climbing it I was wondering when my brain had decided to vacate the premises during the time when I thought this was a good idea. Oh well, I guess I better go get a bite to eat. Labels: health, hobbies -Risawn: # 2:49 AM - |

7.27.2005

Unintentional Diets I woke up yesterday with a soar throat. Along with some other symptoms that came along with it. Hoping it was just a one day thing, I went to work and tried to suck a juice drink, which produced some pain when swallowing. When lunch came around, they had the grill on and I couldn't resist the hot dogs. For some reason, the hot dogs here are really good. But it still hurt to eat. I didn't even try to get dinner. Because I didn't eat much yesterday, I went to get breakfast despite the fact that I had no appetite. I had one bite of oatmeal and a couple of spoonfulls of yogurt. And then I decided I needed to head over to sick call. Sick call is one of the perks about being in the army. Most of the time I get sick, I just call in sick to work and take the day off. I think I have a pretty decent immune system now because of the many times I refused to take medicine. But since I've been here, I get the opportunity to have perscription meds. Which make me feel a lot better real quick. Still, in the too much information department, on top of the soar throat, I found the last couple nights I couldn't sleep, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night to do of all things, spit. I have excess spit and phlegm buildup in my throat, it hurts to swallow so therefor I haven't been eating much, I have a headache and when I do down something, I suddenly feel nauseaus. And I'm either to hot or to cold. Yesterday I checked the back of my throat and I felt like something was growing back there. Somebody suggested I rinse my mouth out with Mouth Wash and brush my teeth more then normal and that should help. It made my teeth nice and clean, and freshened my sick breath for a moment, but not much else. Sick call diagnosed me as having Strep Throat. Sure, I have to get sick before I head off to Bulgaria land, aint that always the way. . . they say I should be good by the time I leave, but still, I have to have this nasty crap? Still, it makes one hellava diet! The strep throat diet. Hmm, there has to be some benefit for feeling like crap! Labels: Bulgaria, health -Risawn: # 6:03 AM - |

6.07.2005

The Current Goods Quick update on the latest. . . I finally, sort of, have the unit website up. See, its still missing most of its content, but I'm hoping to get that rectified ASAP. The Unit website is located here. Task Force Medical Falcon XI Now I have to get on the various sections' cases and get them to send me stuff so its not a barren website that only says 'Under Construction' everywhere you go. So that's the current big task I'm having at the moment. I also temporarily lost my sanity and signed up to participate in a Half Marathon over at the Finnish Camp (or was it the Fins who were sponsoring the 70 K road march? I forget which), however I haven't really trained for it and on Sunday I was playing sand volleyball and somehow I tore my left calf muscle and I'm thinking about going to Sick Call this morning to get that checked out, as well as this weird Nausea I've been having. I'm still doing Kajukenbo, in fact, thats the most successful endeavour I've undertaken while I've been here. But when I was working out yesterday, I hurt my calf even more. So I think the Half Marathon is a No Go. I'll talk to CPT H about it this morning after Sick Call. I wanted to do it too. So that means I have to get in on the next Dannish Road march if I want to do something kind of Psycho while I'm here, mostly just to say that I did it. I really want to do a Road March. Meanwhile, the French Army is doing an exercise in our Sector and are camped out here in South Bondsteel so we've been seeing the French everywhere. The Germans were here a few months ago doing something similar. I'm tempted to say Bonjour to them, like I was saying 'Guten Morgen' to the Germans, as that is the extent of my French Language speaking skills, but they've been beating me to it by saying 'Hi' first. I'm not sure if they're trying to get away from the French Hate Americans abotu as much as the Americans hate French Stereotype or if they are having girl withdrawals (because crap, everyone seems nice to me when they first meet me here) or maybe they really aren't the French that everyone makes them out to be. For crying out loud, they are in the military so that does say something!?! So I vow to say 'Bonjour' to them first today and take them by surprise. Most French don't expect Americans to start speaking to them in their native tongue. Right after I go see a doc about my leg. Labels: Europe, health, hobbies -Risawn: # 10:14 PM - |

6.05.2005

Food and STDs On friday I had to give the FMPP brief. FMPP is Force Management Pass Program or something of that nature, it is the Bulgaria trip mostly. Anyway, before you leave you have to do a Brief and Preventive Medicine, which is my section, has to give a portion of it. I don't mind giving this briefing at all. In fact, I like to give it. Though apparently people tell me I go red in the face when I have to talk about my part. That might make sense in a moment. Anyway, people have to go over the safety portion of the briefing and all that jazz as well as the medical portion and then it comes to me. My job is to tell them where not to eat and not to screw around (literally). So we get around to listening to the droning of the earlier briefing, because these people mostly have to give this thing every week and you can tell that they're bored, and I'm thinking "I plan on waking these people up a bit". One way that my NCOIC had gotten it into people's heads so that they wouldn't forget the food issue is by the use of the words "explosive Diarrhea" and "Projectile Vomiting". Excessive Number 2 and 3. Yeah, that would kill any desire to eat at some of those questionable restaurants. That being the idea. But by far my favorite topic of discussion is STDs. You see, when your dealing with a Task Force where the Male Female Ratio is 10 to 1 or even worse then that (like the guys at Monteith) some of them like to think of this trip to Bulgaria as a little opportunity to get some. And I don't care who these people are, whether they are married or what not, people are screwing around. I don't care who people are screwing around with, just as long as they give me enough warning that I'm not in the same room with it (which had been a problem earlier). So you got people going to Bulgaria to fool around and get a little, and Preventive Medicine is in charge of making sure you don't get any STDs because we get to councel you in case you get some. So we get to drive home the point of avoiding the screw around by explaining STDs and what they will do to you. SPC D had set up this awesome power point that went into graphic detail of some STDs and some of the higher ups thought it was a little to graphic for the fragile minds of our soldiers or something *gag* so now we have this really boring powerpoint which is as basic as you can get. So we have to go into lavish detail about explaining these diseases as what they will do to you. Like, you can get Genital Warts even if you use a Condom. And its non-curable. You can get Herpes even if you use a condom. And it too is non curable. I wish I could have gotten into detail on the multiple exposures to Gonorrhea (that will make anybody make sure their partner is free of this disease before trying to get some themselves) but I only had 5 to 10 minutes on food and STDs. From what I understood, I woke a lot of people up. I also got commended on doing a fine job with my part of the power point. And whats more, when these people come back from FMPP, they get to pee in a cup. And I'll be there to collect. I wonder what kind of STD comments I'll get next week? Labels: health, PreventiveMedicine, zzz -Risawn: # 3:04 AM - |

3.26.2005

Shopping for Health Today was a beautiful day. Almost to beautiful. I almost slept in. Ah, who am I kidding, I did sleep in. I got up in time to throw a uniform on and get to the office to meet my sergeant tapping his foot and looking at his watch. I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping at night. Being a night owl, I am most active in the evening, at least, my brain is. All this week I've been having trouble falling asleep at night, just thinking about different things. Last night was particularly bad. I actually got in bed about 10:30, after finally finishing Freaks and Geeks, the entire season (why oh why did they cancel this series? I don't watch TV for the very reason that anything good like this gets canceled and they leave on crap like Friends for 9 seasons) and actually fell to sleep within a few minutes. Then around 2 in the morning, I woke up and found myself thinking for the next two hours. About a whole lot of nothing. Just thinking, about stories, perhaps what I was going to do today, what I did this week, how I should have handled something else differently, so on and so forth. I can't win. When I finally do get back to sleep, I can't get up when I'm supposed to. Or my alarm will go off, I'll glance over at it and say, "i'm tired, I don't have to be anywhere for 2 hours' and roll back over and the Z monster takes hold once more. I usually wake up about 15 minutes before I have to be anywhere. Um, today was particularly bad, because I didn't have to be anywhere until 9. They let me come in at nine. And I was still late? What the heck is wrong with me? Gaaaahhhh!!! Yeah, I've never been compatible with the military in this manner. I hate to sleep, but unfortunately my body rather loves it. Especially in the morning. So I'm going to work on getting myself into some kind of routine. Even if I have to force myself to do it, I will do it. I actually did it for a couple of days before, getting up at 5 to work out in the morning and I was where I had to be and feeling great. So I've decided to take part in some recreational activities. They've got a bunch of programs planned out through MWR (Morale, Welfare, Recreation) like Softball and Volleyball and I'm thinking 'count me in!' That, and the weather has vastly improved over the last few weeks. Bicycles came into the PX. I went ahead and made a purchase. I also took it for a quick ride around South Town and found myself out of shape. A bike was a good investment, I think I shall start using it on those hills. My body will thank me in a couple months. Anything to get out of the barracks and doing something. And then I cringed when I noted that they got PS2s in. Finally. After I already bought one online and went through all that trouble. *grumbles* Oh well, you live and learn. And then somebody points out a typo on one of your most famous blog posts that you made 4 months earlier. ***GAAARRR!!!*** Labels: health, hobbies, Sports, TV Shows -Risawn: # 2:40 PM - |

2.21.2005

I Swear By Happy Pills! Ok, so last week, well, it didn't go over so well with me. You have your good days and your bad days. Last week was just one bad week. Bleh. Well, fortunately, it is over, but not without me going through my first time ever seeing an honest to goodness Psychiatrist. He officially diagnosed me as having character-driven Dysthymic Depression. And I'm now on medication. All is well with the world now. Ahh. . . But truthfully, depression is something I've been having difficulty with for a while now and for a long time it was just a fact of life that I was content to ignore. Really, Depression is not something you should brush off. I learned this the hard way a couple years back. But though I came to grips that I had this problem and I should do something about it, something kept me from actually making any motion to do something about it. I didn't want to cause myself anymore headaches, I knew I had a problem but for some reason I thought if I could try hard enough, I could just get through it and be done on my own. Last week, with all the little things going on, and dealing with the stress of initially deploying and trying to get into a niche, a routine of sorts, I found myself at a very difficult time, and I was getting sick of being lectured all of the time from people telling me that I had no reason to be the way I was considering this was one of the best deployments I could have gotten. Believe me, you don't have to tell me that. I know. Besides, I volunteered to come here and despite all of what happened last week, I still want to be here. But at one point I got really scared that I was just screwed up in the head enough that they would send me home and I don't want that. At first I didn't want to say anything for fear of what would happen if I did. The Psychologist here kind of eased my mind a bit and let me talk, trying to reassure to me that it was ok, I wasn't a complete nut job and what I was going through was actually normal. You know, for the first time, hearing that made me feel better about it. He did notice that I seemed depressed and then referred me to the Psychiatrist, whom I saw today. And I discovered one benefit of being in the army. Back home, it takes about 4 weeks to six months to see a Psychiatrist. Here, it took the Psychologist 30 minutes to refer me to one. And if nothing else, now I know the difference between the two. I'm not perfect, I've never claimed to be perfect, I got some pretty hefty faults and I guess I've finally taken a step to get through them. Once I get onto a normal routine, I can get on with my deployment, actually enjoy myself, and come back a better person for it. Even if I have to admit to seeing a Shrink regularly. Labels: Depression, health -Risawn: # 6:29 AM - |

5.04.2004

Bloomsday Bloomsday Pictures are in. And I'm still in pain. I need to go out and jog and loosen my muscles up, if they would let me. Labels: Bloomsday, health, holidays, Ouch, Pain, Running -Risawn: # 9:51 PM - |